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Came home Let night after a long day of work and class to find pizza on the counter. I'm told by my boyfriend that it's for the girls tonight and not for me. They are having girls night.
I didn't expect it to him me so hard, trying to make something to eat and trying to hide the tears at the same time. It's a pain I hadn't had to face in a long time and found myself surprised at the torrent of feeling I was try to hold back.
Growing up there were many times I was told that I couldn't hang out with people. All for various reasons but the one that really covers them all is, "It's girl talk." That the simple fact that I'm a male meant I was excluded. Or, "Big kids only." All my young mind heard was you are not wanted because of who you are.
Now again I'm being told this by my boyfriend. Thar because I'm not gay enough I can't hang out with the girls. But as I'm feeling this I'm hit with guilt for feeling these things.
Then I want tell my boyfriend these feelings but I have to go hold myself back . I can't let my feelings get out of control and turn vindictive. I think of calling my friends but then I'm hit with fear because im always been the rock. I don't want to have to expose myself like this or if I pick a friend  am I telling the right on? All horrible thoughts, so I write them here instead.

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mindbender
David
United States

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:iconhimitsuuk:
HimitsuUK Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2016   Photographer
:wave:
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:iconbluefluke:
bluefluke Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2015  Professional General Artist
Hey, thanks for the watch. You are awesome! :meow:
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:icondarkmechanic:
DarkMechanic Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for watching!
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:iconfloorsteinz:
FloorSteinz Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2011  Student Digital Artist
thanks for the fav^^
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:icontokyo-storm:
tokyo-storm Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fave! :)
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