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~mindbender:iconmindbender:

An Extreme Individual  

  • Status: Member
  • Self-proclaimed Genius
  • Male/United States
  • Offline for 14h 49m 44s
  • Deviant since Oct 19, 2002, 11:37 AM
  • 104 Deviations
  • 16 Scraps [browse]
  • 1,708 Deviation Comments
  • 191 Deviant Comments
  • 4 News Comments
  • 175 Forum Posts
  • 7,795 Pageviews
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Activity

Never Again

Recent Deviations

Desktop Apr 13 2008
in Windows on 4/13/08
DefunctI struggle to see  As I seemingly stumble and fall  Things I fail to discern  Make struggle against myself   
These runaway processes  That I can't seem to kill  Proceed to control  And bypass my will   
Networks and robots and symbols  These things that clog my mind  Archetypes that have gone awry  Leave me to clean up their foul   
Much effort into my attempts  To reclaim my throne  And I fear my end is near  As my support wains in despair   
I reach out in the dark  And scramble and claw  I manage to find a perch  Yet get ridi Defunct
in Open on 4/13/08
Do I have faith?What am I to do?  To follow the rote path set,  Or battle the slings and arrows?   
Set forth on this path I walk  Long had it been my world  Yet know I trudge in mud  And vistas grow dim and dreary.   
Pour continuer en avant ou changer le cours?  I say to myself  Detour for a time  Yet knowing how way leads on to way.   
So what am I to do?  This gift that has been given to me  In my hands does it lay?  Or in another? Do I have faith?
in Open on 4/10/08
Fail To FallI find myself Failing  Falling down hard into  
This deep black pool  Nothing around me  Nothing to see  Nothing to breath  Nothing to Live  Failing down hard  My own abilities Fall  My Logic Falls  My Intellect Falls  I Fall  Down   
There is no up  There is no down  Only Nothing  Falling or flying  I Fail to know  For Nothing has Nothing  Nothing to know  Nothing to see  Nothing to understand  Nothing is simply Nothing  Yet not at all  For here I am  In Nothing  Paradox as my Logic Falls  I Fail  D Fail To Fall
in Fixed on 12/5/07
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The struggle

Journal Entry: Sun Apr 13, 2008, 9:26 PM
  • Mood: Anguish
  • Listening to: SomaFM: Groove Salad
  • Reading: Neverwhere - Neil Gaiman
  • Watching: 30 Rock
  • Playing: Homeworld2
  • Drinking: H20
So what I am supposed to do in this existential struggle of mine. As I try to move forward in my quest to become who I wish to be, these autonomous neural programs built into me by society and the like keep pushing me back. Think about it your responses to emotionally charged situations. Are you acting in accordance with your will or by instinct?

These things in my head leave me picking up the pieces and now I've been told I am to be no more by my only friend, my best friend. I hope to God I was wrong in what I heard. I don't want my life to fall apart because I don't know if I will be able to put it back together.

No Comments | Previous Journal Entries

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 22
  • Current Residence: South Central Texas
  • Interests: Physics, math, technology, poetry, spirtuality
  • MP3 player of choice: Sony NWZ-A818
  • Favourite gaming platform: Playstation
  • Tools of the Trade: Notepad, keyboard

deviantART Notice

Devious Comments

~toritwit:icontoritwit: 6 days 34 minutes ago
Heeeyyyy, haven't heard from you in awhile. How are you doing?

--
TORI BETH
[link] (the art)
[link] (the webcomic)
[link] (the blog)
~wwelkrulez:iconwwelkrulez: Apr 21, 2008, 2:40:51 PM
Hello my fellow Texan! :aww:

--
My son's MySpace:

[link]
=chinaroses:iconchinaroses: Dec 25, 2007, 1:50:50 AM
Hey!

Just wanted to drop by to say "Happy HoLidays"!

Have a great time with those that mean the most to you.

:hug:

Best Wishes,

Jess :blowkiss:

--
PeopLe are Like stained-gLass windows. They sparkLe and shine when the sun is out; but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is reveaLed onLy if there is a Light inside.-ELisabeth kubLer-ross
CLick!
=chinaroses:iconchinaroses: Nov 19, 2007, 5:18:58 AM
Hi!

You have been featured in my first ever news articLe: [link]

:D

Enjoy your day!

:w00t:

Jess

--
PeopLe are Like stained-gLass windows. They sparkLe and shine when the sun is out; but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is reveaLed onLy if there is a Light inside.-ELisabeth kubLer-ross
CLick!
~kiiroikimono:iconkiiroikimono: Oct 28, 2007, 12:10:37 PM
D'AHAAH YOU'RE STILL ALIVE~!!!111

*dies*

x) thnx for the comment!

--
:sunnysideup:happy day:sunnysideup:
=chinaroses:iconchinaroses: Oct 26, 2007, 5:51:56 PM
Hey!

How are you? And what have you been up to?

I just wanted to drop by and say thankyou for watching me - your support means a Lot!

:glomp:

Jess

--
PeopLe are Like stained-gLass windows. They sparkLe and shine when the sun is out; but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is reveaLed onLy if there is a Light inside.-ELisabeth kubLer-ross
CLick!
=chinaroses:iconchinaroses: Oct 25, 2007, 7:02:32 PM
hey hey!

:glomp:

Jess

--
PeopLe are Like stained-gLass windows. They sparkLe and shine when the sun is out; but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is reveaLed onLy if there is a Light inside.-ELisabeth kubLer-ross
CLick!
~Kayelei:iconKayelei: Apr 19, 2007, 4:33:10 PM
I haven't heard from you in a while.
How are you doing?
I hope you're well and I hope to hear from you soon.
Take care!
:heart:

--
Both of my wrists are injured. Please bear with me if I leave a brief/wordless comment instead of a critical essay or if I favorite your work with no comment. I cannot really type/ use a computer on my own because of this.
Thank you for understanding.
=chinaroses:iconchinaroses: Dec 31, 2006, 1:56:24 AM
Just came by to say, "Have a great New Year!" :glomp:

:w00t:

Jess

--
:invisible: :plug::bump::sing::airborne:
PeopLe are Like stained-gLass windows. They sparkLe and shine when the sun is out; but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is reveaLed onLy if there is a Light inside.-ELisabeth kubLer-ross
~pun:iconpun: Dec 6, 2006, 1:58:37 AM Mood: Homesick
Heya lovely. Catch up on you ever once in a while. ^^ I know I should do it more. I'll try to. your writings have really proved to be your outlet. ::muah::

--
~*~
I was a cat in a previous life.
>^..^<
~leafripple:iconleafripple: Dec 1, 2006, 10:59:54 PM
I find it strange that you've disabled comments on nearly all of your pieces. That's a bit sketchy if you ask me. Plus, you don't have a name.
~leafripple:iconleafripple: Dec 1, 2006, 10:54:40 PM
On "Never Again," I loved your idea, but it was more of a photo manipulation. I don't think it is qualified to be placed in the manga/anime category. It's a shame you didn't use your own photo. Great work, though.
~IshiRodosha:iconIshiRodosha: Sep 19, 2006, 5:30:26 PM
well thanks for leaving a note about it anyways ^^ those last poems I really like so its nice to hear what everyone has to say

--
It is possible that I temporarily lost my insanity.
~kiiroikimono:iconkiiroikimono: Aug 10, 2006, 3:24:03 PM Mood: Dead
dude i haven't heard from you in like
forever
how are ya? x)

--
:sunnysideup:happy day:sunnysideup:
~ArtistWithin:iconArtistWithin: May 4, 2006, 10:13:07 PM
Thanks for adding me and commenting on my work and such. Talk to you later.

--
I'm not creepy... just different. ~ Raven

If you have attempted Alchemy by clapping your hands or by drawing an array, copy and paste this in your signature.
~ArtistWithin:iconArtistWithin: May 4, 2006, 10:13:00 PM
Thanks for adding me and commenting on my work and such. Talk to you later.

--
I'm not creepy... just different. ~ Raven

If you have attempted Alchemy by clapping your hands or by drawing an array, copy and paste this in your signature.
*RyDoG:iconRyDoG: Dec 21, 2005, 12:24:58 AM
awesome work man...

--
Ryan<------------>RyDoG
Myspace
dA Gallery
Flickr Page
~kiiroikimono:iconkiiroikimono: Oct 1, 2005, 8:22:12 PM
thnx for the comment =)

--
:sunnysideup:happy day:sunnysideup:
~AngelsMercy:iconAngelsMercy: Sep 30, 2005, 10:29:28 AM
btw wasnt merely sending it out to everyone...only people from a superficial glance might be interested.

Your writing is awesome, and endearing at places (the little that I saw)...I would write more and comment, but Ive not the time currently.

--
"In the good old days, you could buy toys that, if you misused them, you could lose an eye or a finger."
~cpiochi:iconcpiochi: Sep 23, 2005, 2:24:24 PM
gorgeous work ^^
=DDD

--
No! If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever it is we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?
~kiiroikimono:iconkiiroikimono: Apr 22, 2005, 12:44:18 PM
thnkyu for the comment:!: =D :hug:

--
:sunnysideup:happy day:sunnysideup:
~hakisuma-chan:iconhakisuma-chan: Apr 5, 2005, 7:04:22 PM
Thanks for the watch...and for the requests, it's very interesting. But is it an anime guy or a human dude? I'm up for it! ^_^ And the angel and devil are the same size of him? OK!

--
Siamese: FORTUNE COOKIES NEVER WRONG!
`yoozer:iconyoozer: Mar 29, 2005, 7:30:18 PM
you know, you can delete deviations, too. which is what i did a while ago. i'm too busy with other stuff to submit anything at all.

and maybe i'm a senior member because i've been here for an awful long time? :)
=SqueakingShoeless:iconSqueakingShoeless: Mar 17, 2005, 2:44:23 PM
Ah shoot, I suck at commenting on writing. I can only comment on photography because it's the one area where I can actually work some things out thanks to being a strong visual constructionist. Other than that, I simply have no skills... :no:

Hehe anyway, thanks for looking through my stuff; glad you liked it. :) Your writing is interesting, and I may be back for another look sometime. Keep up the good work. :D

And Happy St. Patty's Day.

:shamrock:!

--
A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking. -Arthur Block
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